Unconsciously Yours
by Dair Leyton
Summary: Blair deals with the mistake she made in the 5th season finale. Deals with regrets and completely ignores the 6th season. Is much better than the summary. I hope anyways.
1. Chapter 1

I just want to say that I have not seen one episode of the sixth season. This was written a few weeks after the now infamous fifth season finale. The storyline follows the fifth season and the events of the finale. Something's may be missing or tweaked a little but I have tried to stay true to the wonderful storyline I had witnessed play out on my screen for two years. **All Characters belong to their rightful owners**. I do not claim ownership over them or the world of Gossip Girl. I would like to thank the writers for one good year of television, followed by four decent years of entertainment. The last year will forever be unknown to me, but I want to thank them for the years of irritation sure to follow me. **Once again all characters belong to their rightful owners**. Thanks and I hope you enjoy this.

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Blair couldn't believe this is how her life had turned out. When Dan had jetted off to Rome with her nemesis three years ago, and she had chosen to chase down Chuck in Monaco, she knew that their relationship would never be the same. But she never entertained the thought that there would be no relationship at all. No Dan Humphrey, with his Muppet hair and lopsided grin. No Dan Humphrey, with his flannel shirts that gave her a rash just to look at, but were the exact thing she craved when the pain she carried became too much. Three years later and another divorce behind her, Blair realized Dan was the one. The one she gave her heart to, only to later act like it was never his to begin with. Only now, was the weight of her mistakes beginning to bury her. She'd had everything she needed to be happy and loved for her whole self, but she threw it all away for something that had been over for a long time. Three years may seem like a long time, and in some ways it was. Lord knows she had made enough mistakes in those three years to last her a lifetime. With the release of his sequel "Outside", Dan Humphrey made those three years seem like they occurred yesterday. He revealed everything. No one was safe, not Serena, not Lily, and especially not her and Chuck. Not even Nate made it out unscathed. Maybe she should be angry or feel betrayed. A part of her did, because contained within the binding was a not so surprising revelation. He had cheated on her. With Serena. She'd be lying if she said that didn't hurt. Blair was not naïve enough to believe that she had not hurt him as well. The wounds she had inflicted upon him quite possibly could have cut deeper than those he had bestowed upon her. He may have had a physical affair, but she had emotionally cheated on him, and then proceeded to disregard him as if he meant nothing to her. It was only now, at Lily and Rufus' second wedding, that she realized that would never be the case with Dan Humphrey. He meant more to her than any man ever had, even the infamous Chuck Bass. It tore her apart to know that it took losing him to come to that realization. As she watched him walk down the aisle with her ex-best friend, she promised herself that she would make things right between Dan and herself. She would make sure he got his happy ending, even if it meant sacrificing her own.

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There it is. I know it's short but I have it written down in a notebook so some chapters are longer and some are shorter. Just bear with me. Please review.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners.**

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The reception was lovely. Blair's only thought was that Lily had done this enough times before to have perfected it. Not like she had any room to talk. Blair had been married and divorced twice, all before her twenty-fifth birthday. Blair sighed and glanced over to the center of the dance floor just as Rufus pulled Lily onto it to share their first dance. Again. Blair watched as Rufus pulled Lily closer to him, and gently started to guide her around the floor. As she watched, Blair couldn't help but notice the glaring similarities between them, and her and Dan. People on the outside may have thought that it was Dan and Serena who were just as destined to be together as Rufus and Lily, but Blair knew better. As Rufus gazed at Lily and mumbled something in her ear that caused her to laugh, Blair couldn't help but feel hopeful. Lily looked as if she felt as safe and loved as she had felt around Dan. Blair's gaze wandered to the side of the dance floor, where she spotted Dan standing with Eric and Jenny. She was always able to find Dan in a crowded room. She watched as he started to laugh, and then he looked up faster than she could look away. He caught her stare, and she could tell, even from this far away, that his laughter had ceased. She watched as Eric and Jenny turned to see what he was looking at. Jenny's whole body stood taller as she saw who had captured her brother's attention. Blair steeled her shoulders as she saw him start to make his way over to her, not minding Jenny's hand on his arm. Blair tried to think of something to say as he made his way across the dance floor. Just as she was mustering up a hello, he surprised her by speaking first. "I was sorry to hear about your divorce, although I can't say I was shocked." Blair had dreamt of what their first words to each other would be. That was not it. She assumed he had heard about it on Gossip Girl, or any of the other news outlets that had covered it for the past six months. Her divorce from Chuck Bass was almost as high profile as Lily's divorce from Bart. Unlike Lily, who had to call in the FBI and several mob informants, all Blair had to do was look to her housekeeper, who went into explicit detail about her affair with Chuck. Blair looked up to see Dan studying her. " And I would be lying if I said that I was surprised as well. When you find your husband in bed with the maid three days into your honeymoon, you know you've made a mistake." If Dan was shocked, he didn't show it. Blair had a sneaking suspicion that Dan had known that something like that would happen eventually. After all, he was one of the few people who saw the real Chuck Bass. Dan knew that Chuck would never change, and deep down Blair believed she did too. She was just foolish enough to believe that she could be the one to change him. Dan glanced around, and she wondered if people were staring. She saw him take a deep breath and then he spoke again. "Would you care to dance?" Her face must have shown the shock and bewilderment she felt because Dan quickly continued, "I mean, if it's too awkward, I understand. It's just that at one point you were my best friend, even if that's all I ever meant to you." She saw the pain in his eyes now. It was fresh and raw, as if it had happened only yesterday. How could she deny him such a simple request, when she had denied him so much already? The answer. She couldn't. "Dan, I would love to share a dance with you."

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I know that again this one is short. I am just trying to get all of the "chapters" that I have written down onto here so that I can continue. I will tell you that I have about half of the story finished in my notebook. It's not going to be a long story. I hope not anyway. Again please review.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners.**

Once again it's short, but I'm almost done with the notebook so that I can move on to the chapters I have on my computer, which are longer.

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To say it was awkward would be an understatement. As Dan led her to the dance floor, Blair could feel every eye in the room zero in on them. Dan's face didn't betray his thoughts as he placed his hands on her waist. He seemed intent on keeping a fair amount of distance between them. His eyes roamed the room in an effort to avoid looking at her. "Dan", she began, hoping to get his attention. "Shh", he whispered, as he pulled her a little closer. "I just want to enjoy this moment, because if we talk, all I'll be able to think about, is that after this, I'll have to let you go. Blair felt tears well up in her eyes, so she closed the remaining distance to rest her head on his shoulder. She could hear his heartbeat, strong and steady, through his suit. A memory consumed her all at once. How she would fall asleep to it's rythym, while Dan whispered in her ear everything he loved about her. Feelings of regret and guilt hit her like never before. She felt Dan freeze, and she realized as she looked up, that the music had stopped. But that wasn't what caused Dan to still. Blair followed his gaze to the back of the reception hall. Standing with Lily and Rufus, wearing a smug smirk, was her ex-husband, Chuck Bass. Lily sent her an apologetic smile, as Rufus stared past her to Dan. She turned to see him walking out the front door. Her blood turned cold as she watched him walk away. She turned back to Lily, who just nodded towards the door with a knowing smile. She turned and bolted after him, as she felt anger radiate through her. How dare he think he could just leave without saying goodbye. She deserved atleast that. She faltered as she remembered she had done that very thing to him. Left him without an explanation. Left him to chase a dead end. She spotted him sitting on a bench by the fountain Lily had flown in from Rome. The irony was not on Blair. She tried to be quiet as she walked up to him, but she knew he had heard her coming when she saw his shoulders tense up. She expected anger, which is what she felt she deserved. Instead, as she sat down beside him, she discovered indifference. If Dan was hurt or angry, he didn't show it. That seemed to be a running theme with him now. She felt her heart break at the thought that she'd had a hand in turning him this way. This time he stayed silent, expecting her to have the first word. She didn't know where to begin, she just knew she had to tell him the truth. He deserved it, even if it broke his heart.

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Once again, please review.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners.**

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Blair stared at the fountain for what seemed like forever, trying to find a way to tell him what was going through her mind the night she left him for what she now sees as a collosal mistake. She knew he was waiting. For what, she didnt know, but she squared her shoulders and began anyway. "Dan, first I want to say that I am truly sorry. I'm sorry for taking you for granted. I'm sorry for taking everything you had to give and never giving you anything in return. I'm sorry for giving up on us. Most of all, I'm sorry for treating you like you weren't important to me. That night, I convinced myself I was just avoiding the inevitable. That I should just end it with you before I hurt you any further. You know me and my warped logic. It took losing you and losing myself again to realize that you are everything to me. You made me feel strong and safe. You made me happy, and that was the best gift anybody has ever given me." She realized she was crying as she glanced over to Dan. He had his eyes focused on a spot just above the fountain and his jaw was clenched. She reached out to touch him but he flinched away. He stood, and she could finally see the anger in his eyes. "I made you happy?", he whispered. "I made you feel strong and safe? I meant everything to you?" His voice rose as he continued. "Those are the worst lies you have ever told me. If I made you happy, you wouldn't have chased Chuck to Monaco the same day we were supposed to leave for Rome. If I made you feel strong and safe, you wouldn't have followed Chuck all over hell and creation, trying to save the hotel he sold you for. If I meant everything to you, you wouldn't have become Bass. We both made mistakes, but we both need to face it. I will love you until the day I die, but you never loved me. You sure as hell didn't respect me and the relationship I thought we shared. I know what you are thinking. You're thinking about how I slept with Serena. All I have to say is that atleast you had already checked out of our relationship. So please don't insult me now by making me the consolation prize." Blair watched as he took a deep breath. "I told you once that if you lost everything, you would still have me. And it happened,you lost Louis, you lost Chuck, and you even lost your baby. But you still had me. I was there. I stood by you and you had me. But you didn't want me. You never did. You clung to me because I never gave up on you. I will never give up on you Blair Waldorf, but I gave up on us three years ago. That's why I'm going to walk away now. The next time we see each other, you will go your way and I'll go mine, because frankly, it hurts too much to be near you. I know what we should have been. It's just a shame you never saw it." And with that, Dan Humphrey walked away from Blair Waldorf.

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Please review.


	5. Chapter 5

I know that this is short, but I hope you like it. Sorry it took so long to update, I have to type with one hand because I decided to break my other one, so there went my holidays.

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners.**

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If Blair had thought that the past three years had been painful without Dan, the past month had been pure hell. Everytime she closed her eyes, she saw the anger and underlying anguish he had felt that night by the fountain. Everything he had said had been right, but so wrong at the same time. He believed what he said because she had never proven him wrong.

She had allowed him to believe that she had never cared for him. She just prayed that he would give her one last chance to be a part of his life, no matter how big or small of a piece it may be. Blair was now expected to attend Nate and Serena's engagement party tonight. Blair was probably the only person on the Upper East Side that wasn't shocked when Nate popped the question after only eight months of dating. Nate had been in love with Serena since high school.

Blair and Serena may not have been best friends for a long time now, but that didn't mean they were enemies either. They had both made mistakes, and they were just going to have to live with them. That didn't mean Blair couldn't be happy for her two oldest friends.

She grabbed her phone and call down to her driver. As she was riding down the elevator, her phone went off. A Gossip Girl blast appeared on her screen.  "Spotted, Queen B's ex-dark knight, and ex-charity case, making their way into the engagement party of her ex-best friend and ex-king. That's a lot of x's B, try to keep it PG, although we all know your preference for mature themes. XOXO Gossip Girl." 

Blair rushed out of the elevator as her driver was pulling up to the curb. She ordered him to step on it, while trying not to imagine what could happen with Dan and Chuck in the same room. She knew her presence wouldn't help, but the blame rested squarely on her shoulders. She pulled up to Lily and Rufus' place in what seemed like seconds.

She stepped into the elevator, and like all the times before, she is reminded of her and Dan's tryst. Her and Chuck had used this elevator countless times while they were married, and he never understood why she wouldn't kiss him or even touch him in it. She couldn't tell him that this space belonged to her and Dan, just like the whiskey bar in Brooklyn, and Dan's loft. There times when Blair misses the loft almost as much as she misses Dan. Almost. She feels like crying when she realizes those days may be gone.

She is pulled out of her thoughts when the elevator doors open. Blair looks up just in time to see Chuck raise his fist to Dan. She can barely scream out no, when it collides with Dan's face.

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Again, sorry it took so long to update. I'll try to update sooner. Please review.


	6. Chapter 6

I am so sorry it has taken me forever to update. I recently celebrated my birthday and spent a few days with family. I also am trying to finish up the last few chapters of this story so that I can move on to another story I have started. There may be mistakes because typing with one hand is not fun. So anyway enough with my rambling. Let's move on to the story. **Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners.**

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Dan's on the floor passed out, but that doesn't stop Chuck as he proceeds to kick Dan in the stomach. Before Blair even has time to react to what is going on, Nate appears and tackles Chuck from behind. Blair makes her way over to Dan, just as Rufus and Jenny appear. Blair sees confusion flash across Jenny's face, only to quickly be replaced with anger. "Get away from him. This is all your fault." she screams. Rufus stands up from his spot beside Dan and grabs Jenny's arm, "Now is not the time for this. I need you to call 911 and tell them to get here immediately." That seems to snap Jenny back into focus. She goes to kneel beside Dan while pulling out her phone at the same time. Rufus turns to Blair, "Lily was running late. Would you please call her and let her know what has happened. Also could you have her call the best doctor she knows and have them meet us at the hospital, just in case." Blair nods numbly and pulls out her phone. Lily picks up on the second ring, "Hello Lily, it's Blair. Somethings happened. Chuck attacked Dan and he's on his way to the hospital. No one has seen Chuck since Nate pulled him off of Dan. Blair hears Lily gasp, "I'm on my way. Tell Rufus that I will call the hospital and tell them to have their best doctor waiting." Blair sighs with relief, "Thank you Lily." "Blair, Dan is my son, just as much as Eric and Chuck. I may have taken your side with Chuck, but right now I am firmly on Dan's side. I care about you, Blair. You've always felt like you were a part of my family. But you've hurt one of my sons. What happened tonight is Chuck's fault, but there wouldn't be any animosity between them if it hadn't been for your actions. Things need to change. If you want Dan, be with Dan. I know he's hurt and he's probably told you to stay away from him, he's like his father that way, but he loves you. If you don't want to be with Dan, than stop stringing him along. I'm not sure how much more he can take." Lily must have taken Blair's silence as confirmation that she had made her point. "I hope to see you at the hospital, but if I don't I will understand. Thank you for calling me Blair." With that Lily hung up. Just as Blair was putting her phone back into her purse, it began to ring. She glanced at the screen and cringed. Chuck Bass flashed across her screen not once, not twice, but three times before the screen changed to indicate she had a missed call. Blair shoved her phone into her purse and started to make her way back to Dan. She reached him just as the paramedics arrived. She watched them put Dan onto a stretcher and wheel him into the elevator, with Rufus and Jenny right behind them. Dan was still unconcious. Serena came to stand in front of Blair, blocking her view as the doors shut. Serena stared at Blair for a few seconds before opening her arms for a hug. Blair was unsure at first, but as she glanced over Serena's shoulder to see the light indicate that the elevator was not in use, she felt the tears well up in her eyes. She then grabbed Serena and proceeded to let all the pain and guilt from the last three years fall.

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Thanks for sticking with me, and please review.


	7. Chapter 7

** Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners.**

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I am soooo sorry I haven't updated for awhile but some stuff happened with my family that required most of my attention these past few months. I had actually forgotten about this until this weekend when I checked my email. I will try to update more often than once every few months. Just please try to be patient and understanding because the family issues are still needing my attention. Thanks and please review. **Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners.**

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Blair arrived at the hospital at the same time as Lily. Lily took one look at Blair and grabbed her hand and led her into the waiting room. Blair went to sit next to Nate while Lily spoke with Rufus. Nate was staring at the clock while clutching Serena's hand. Blair felt something nudge her wrist and glanced down to see Nate offering his hand to her for support. She grasped it as she looked to Lily and Rufus, who appeared to be in a heated discussion.

Lily backed away from Rufus, shaking her head sadly. She proceeded to sit next to Serena. Rufus' face shifted from grief to anger in a nanosecond. " I told you I do not want you here if you won't tell me where he is.", he screamed at Lily. Lily fixed her eyes to the floor as Rufus continued , " He tried to kill my son tonight, and you're still protecting him. He deserves to be in a jail cell for what he did, and if you won't tell me where he is, I'll find someone who will." Rufus turned to Nate and Serena, " Has he contacted either of you? ", he asked. When they both shook their heads no, he turned to Blair.

" Has he contacted you, and please don't lie to me. If Dan has ever meant anything to you, you will tell me the truth." Blair shook her head, " He called me after the paramedics left, but I didn't answer." Rufus sighed as the energy seemed to seep out of him, " I know you all care about Chuck, but he needs to face the consquences of his actions. What happened tonight was noone's fault but his. If he tries to contact any of you again please call the authorities." Blair felt tears well up in her eyes, " Rufus, I'm sorry for what happened to Dan. I know my part in this, and if something happens to him, I'll never be able to forgive myself." For the first time in three years, Rufus' eyes softened as he looked at Blair. "Blair, what happened tonight was not your fault. The blame rests on Chuck's shoulders and nobody elses."

" He was trying to goad Dan into a fight. He was telling Dan that you never loved him, that it was always going to be Chuck and Blair. Dan tried to tell him that he had already figured that out." Hearing that brought a fresh set of tears to Blair's eyes. " Dan gave his apologies to Chuck about the divorce and went to leave. When he did, Chuck hit him." Rufus glanced at Blair as he finished his recollection of the events. " The doctors said he would be in surgery for a few hours at least. You're welcome to wait, but I don't think it's a good idea for you to see him yet. These past few years have been hard on him. I'm not trying to make you feel worse than you already do, but you need to know who he is now."

Rufus' took the seat on the other side of Blair. " Losing you broke something inside of him. He's lost people before, his mom, Vanessa, Serena, but he's always bounced back, the same old Dan we all know and love. With you, he never bounced back, he just learned to adjust. He disappeared for awhile, and when we finally found him, we only became more worried for him. I am not going to lie to you Blair and tell you that I have never hated you. I have never hated someone as much as I hated you the day I found my face down in his hotel room with an empty pill bottle in one hand and his phone in the other. It was the day you and Chuck had announced your engagement. I remember calling 911 and waiting for what seemed like forever until they arrived. As they were putting him on the stretcher he stirred and he said to me, "Dad, don't let Blair find out. I don't want to be disappointed when she doesn't come. If something happens, please tell her it wasn't her fault. We just weren't meant to be." Rufus blinked away unshed tears as Blair felt her whole body go numb at the thought of Dan dying.

" I called Serena and the rest of the family once we got to the hospital. I told Serena what Dan had said, but she insisted on calling you. She thought you would want to know, so she tried your number but it had been changed. She got Chuck's number from Lily and he told her he would tell you. We all assumed he did because Serena got a text from you saying you wanted nothing to do with Humphrey and you wished he would leave you and Chuck alone." Blair felt anger radiate throughout her. " Chuck never said a word about Dan. If he had, I would've been on the next flight back here to be by his side." Blair squared her shoulders and looked Rufus directly in the eyes. " Rufus, I'm going to try to find Chuck. Will you please call me if anything changes?" Blair could see the understanding in Rufus' eyes. Yes, of course I will, but Blair please be careful. Dan would never forgive me if I let anything happen to you." Blair nodded to Rufus and turned and walked out the door. She had a feeling she knew exactly where Chuck was.


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